应该感谢神，我的工作有问题，已经有一段时间了，其实我感觉好像从读高中开始，学习变得没有那么轻松了。我为自己的研究，时间管理，已经祷告了相当长的一段时间了，其中有一点是，我要祷告，如何让我的研究好像我写其他的小说一样，中文写作，我是行云流水，不夸张地说，写东西对于我来说，就好像把自来水的开关拧开一样，写完了再拧回去，换到英文，一开始是有些词语的障碍的，过去一年，读了大量的原版书，词汇和语法上面没有障碍，也基本上达到了流水般的状态，可是写论文的时候，还是觉得很生涩，什么原因呢？我继续祷告，甚至一边写一边祷告，很长一段时间了，我再琢磨，终于今天突然顿悟，并且用了一下这种方法。

今天非常感恩，非常喜乐！

从现在开始，决定用双语写blog，主要还是写属灵日记。主要有两件事情想感谢神！
1.
神对于我的呼召是做网络的服侍，可是我们教会的牧师的意见不同。他认为网络世界很黑暗，充满危险，去上网就等于开放给罪，我同意他的说法，但是也还是要去网络世界做福音的工作，我在网上遇到很多人，将他们的问题带给我，让我为他们祷告，我也看到许多灵魂对于神的需要。礼拜二晚上的祷告会，我向神祷告，如果是神的意思，让他们需要神的人到我们教会来，让他们有圣灵的洗说方言的恩赐。我们牧师第二天早上发短信给我，让我看看当地报纸上的头条新闻，一个17岁的少女被32岁的性犯罪男人所杀害，他们通过facebook认识。要是以往，我可能会觉得牧师不支持神对于我的服侍，不知道为什么，我觉得可以祷告，于是我祷告，如果网络的服侍，真的是神给我的异像，求他让我们牧师看到我的异像。晚上查完经，我跟牧师分享了神是如何呼召我去做网络服侍，并且如何在网络上面通过网络上面的福音带领我的，并且神如何借着我的博客来影响其他人，也认识了不少人，他们找我祷告。牧师听了之后，说，网络上面，真的需要神，然后告诉我，有天我们可以去看看网络上面的福音。感谢神，改变了我们两个人！

2.
周 末去了我们教会的conference，会上祷告，并且有早晨的祷告会，我向神祷告，我要在祷告会上大胆祷告，其实，我是个非常害怕在公共场合祷告的人， 也害怕在公共场合讲话，但是周末下定决心要改变，我在两天的祷告会上，都有祷告，顺着自己的心来祷告，神也藉着我的口，讲了很多当天讲道的事情。

真的有奇迹，当我从conference回来之后，突然发现，我不再害怕在公共场合说话或者祷告了。表现在以下两个方面，
第 一，就是我在教会的祷告会上，可以英勇无畏地祷告，所谓prayer warrior的感觉，我可以像在私下里祷告那样，祷告起来没有障碍，在我们学校的祷告会上也是一样。过去，我总是磨蹭磨蹭，不开口，我们牧师找我几次都 说这个问题，说你有神的恩膏，我相信，可是为什么在祷告会上面，我觉得你的表现跟你的恩赐不相衬呢?

第二，我在教课的时候，突然变得很自如，以前准备很久，还是紧张，很涩的感觉，今天，很不同，我突然对于教课有了一种激情，在上课的时候加了一段2分钟的录像，是我在准备过程当中突然有的灵感，所有的学生都鼓掌，我开始enjoy teaching了。

感谢神，将不可能变成了可能！将愚拙的变成聪明的，拙口笨舌的也改变了！！！！

赞美他的名！

Since now on, I am going to write my blog in two languages， mainly about my spiritual diary.I have several things to thank God for what he has done for me.
1. My vision or calling from God is to build up a virtual church in the virtual world. However, my Church Pastor held different view on this. He thought that online world is dangerous, dark, and full of sins. He once told me, once you are online you are open to sins. Despite this, I am still going online. Tuesday's prayer meeting, I prayed to God about those people I met online. I pray to God to bring them to our church for the baptism of the Spirit. Wednesday morning, my pastor Gareth sent me a message and asked me to read the headline of Daily Mail newspaper. The headline on that day is about a tragic story of a 17 years old teenager killed by 32 year old sexual offender. She got to know this man through facebook. When I saw this headline, I knew that Gareth is warning me the dangers of going online. In the past I will feel negative and hide away from him as I felt that my calling is conflicting with the pastor's opinion. However, I suddenly felt that I should  pray for this. If God's calling for me is to be online and the  pastor haven't differrent view or vision. Why can I bring this issue to God? I can ask God to be in us and change both of us. I actually rarely pray for our church leader. I might need to pray for them since now. I think it's like a miracle. Wednesday night in the bible study, I had a talk with the pastor, sharing what God's has done in me through online gospels, how God influence other through my blogs, and how people are attracted to me for prayer through my blogs. Gareth told me that there should be a place or the presence of God there. Thanks to God that he changed both of us!


2. Thanks to God for taking away my fear of teaching or speaking publicly.
I have been struggling with teaching for so long, as long as two years! In the beginning, I have the passion to teach, to communicate with students but gradually that fire is quenched. I got so much negative feedbacks! Poor English, lack of experience, no confidence, fear to speak in public, all these comments are there to put me down! I have been praying for God to change me within! I should thank him because he took away my fear to speak in public during the weekend's church conference in High Wycombe near London. I suddenly can pray in public without any fear, teach without any fear!

While reading the education of Karl Weittie, one chapter inspired me most. When Wittie tried to find a teacher to teach Karl Latin from heart rather than from head. He tried many teachers but never satisfied. He described one teacher who had that kind of teaching style from head rather than from heart. I was well enlightened by this 'teaching by heart' method. It spoke me very well. I have been thinking what is teaching from heart and reflected my teaching. In the past, I used to teach the knowledge and tried to give students what I have read. I didn't realize that only when those things are in my heart, I can flow in teaching. So, I tried to make all the IS knowledge in my own way. Just as what I did for the bible and for the prayer, I suddenly understand it's mean by teaching by heart.

I gave students some videos to watch and they all applause for that video about the 3D operation systems.
I should thank God very much for what he has done for me!

In today's prayer meeting, the God's presence is so strong that I can feel the joy of communion with the Holy Spirit. I just want to praise God for what he had done for me during the weekend.